your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
