Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
