who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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