Dual....:-)
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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