You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
