nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
