And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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