the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
