Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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