If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
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