I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
