We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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