so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Randomize
