I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
