never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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