his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize