I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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