The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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