1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
