Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
