Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
