The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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