I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize