so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I touched a dick in church today
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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