Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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