Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Randomize