dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
