i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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