If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
