I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
