ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
