What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I am one with the molecules
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Randomize
