she looked like the before picture.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize