were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
