Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
