i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
