Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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