maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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