nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
