I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
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he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
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I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
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