i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
