Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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