plz talk dirty to me
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
