I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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