I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
