I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
