So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
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