also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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