if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
