living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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