Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
