Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
