ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
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I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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