Ambien. No doubt about it.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
