Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
