the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
