She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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