why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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