i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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