He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
