do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize
