i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
