Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
