what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Randomize
