watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
