Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize