there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
organizing the empties. That sober.
Hippo gnu deer
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
