Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
