omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
