It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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