You're so nebulous sometimes
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
