I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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